I have a bit of an issue with songs I am very emotional about. It is extremely difficult for me to sing them without being totally disrupted. How do you deal with this? How do you distance yourself from a song?
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I don't... I just sing in a lower key so that all the emotion moves from tears to a feeling in the pit of the stomach. That makes perfect sense to me, but probably not to anybody else but it's the best I can do.
Practice. There are a couple in my set that are very personal to me. But I've just stood there time after time in the bedroom playing/singing them over and over so that it becomes the performance - the emotion is still there and channelled somehow but not lost but not overwhelming either.

Good to have you back on the comment boards, Ista! I'm sorry to say I won't be able to make your gig on Tuesday, which is a bummer, cos it's just around the corner from my gaff. Do a good one, though, and post some pickies. Tx
Permalink Reply by Kirsty Pollock on December 19, 2010 at 18:28 Hmmm, I am afraid I can't help much there because I tend of myself to be a bit emotionally distant, if anything, except for anger. One trick I have heard from singing teachers is NEVER to put yourself in the song. "Take care of yourself" they said. Visualise it in the third person, see it as a film.
For a cover song I'd probably not take on a first person outright "miserable" or pessimistic song, like I (these days) avoid outright pessimistically miserable flims/books/etc.
I write songs and I would never write an overtly negative song- even in the downbeat/examining problems ones - there's always hope or resolution or a way out.
There IS one song I wouldn't try, which is "In the Morning" by Norah Jones, something about the melodic line purely of itself makes me cry. It's got no associations for me, despite the poigniant lyric, it's just the tune itself catches in my throat. Dunno why. I can't sing it anyway, whatever the reason.
The range thing is also interesting. Many people in the mid-high range (say C above middle C thru to E [and maybe higher] for a woman) sing in a particular tone/way that is very reminiscent of a sob/cry. Especially at medium volumes. This is not a preferred mode for me - because I sing rock with a loud band, I need to be louder, I tend to use a more powerful driving (sorta like a tuneful shout) style up to about C/D then a more scream like, slightly 'nasal' ever so style (Axl Rose/ Anastacia sorta thing) higher up - because these 2 modes have more volume than the 'soul-esque' one (or the quiet 'head voice' thing).
So maybe change the style, rather than the key - but it may not fit the song... artistic choice.
Permalink Reply by Dee on December 19, 2010 at 20:07 Thanks for all the great ideas! I think the practicing thing is going to help the most. I want to be able to express the passion without being a blubbering mess. I hope all are having a great holiday season!

@Kirsty I have the same issue with Janis Ian's "Stars". I love the song but could never cover it because it just gets me every time when she goes...
"People lust for fame
Like athletes in the rain
We break our collar bones and come up swinging."
Seeing the lyric written, it's trit and doesn't move me, but hearing it sung or trying to sing it myself, I just can't do it..
Permalink Reply by Jake Taylor on February 11, 2011 at 13:24 Hi u can't if u want to perform at the level u need to express it totally, I watched the late Alan hull of Lindisfarne obviously
distraught during the song while playing live but that is the nature of the poet/ Artist, if u don't bleed u don't perform, however I know some performers who are nervous do it as an acting role that might work I don'know u could try it.
jake
Permalink Reply by Dee on February 11, 2011 at 15:51 
Hi Dee
Im new to the site so just found this, just keep singing it untill you can without cracking up.
Dave
Permalink Reply by Dee on June 23, 2011 at 15:35 johnny ray earned the nickname the cry guy,he sobbed his way through every live performance,his emotion was honest and audiences were moved .a tear in your eye and true emotion in your voice is something you will struggle to hold on to let alone get rid of it.they say you have to live the blues to sing or play the blues,and in away thats what you are doing.songs of joy make people happy sad songs are there to touch you emotionally ,i dont think you can give it your best if you try to distance yourself in anyway from your feelings while performing,its nice that the repetition of singing these songs is makeing it easier to perform them.
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